DISCLAIMER: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION IN THIS BLOG!
Although there is no profanity in this blog, the description may be exaggerated and strong.
A slight twist of humor also involved.
OMG! Im Like, so like late to like Blog about like, my cosmo career. It's like it's not even like funny... Okay its not really that bad however, it is pretty rough in my neck of the woods these days. Let me start out by saying "I'm sorry for the latency of this Blog post." I have been busy lately, and I promise to get better about it. So the last 6-7 months has been very interesting to say the least. And my sanity cup has just about runneth over at school with my school mates. I never knew it would be this difficult of a juggling act and so easy at the same time. So lets get on with it, back to my adventure shall we. So I attended the Chicago hair-show, and it was amazing to say the least. I meet so many artists and like minded individuals (at a hair-show! I know right)
my head was spinning. The Matrix, Aquage, and Andis stage was probably my favorites of all. I was able to meet Nick Barardi from NickEducation.com, Nicholas French of Matrix, and as always my good buddies Luis Alvarez and Eric Fisher. (I see them at every show). The Andis stage was loud and hip, and featured some of the best Barbers I have ever seen. We all know Ivan Zoot, but I didn't know anything about Jeremy Knott, a master Barber my age at the top of his game. This man is a magician with clippers. Check out some of his amazing art at LosAngelesBarberShop.com, truly talented. Not much later after that, I attended the Peels spring show. Also a great show to take in. Philip Wilson of FHI heat, made the Guinness book of World Records for the most hair cuts at the same time, I believe it was over 500, like 507 or something like that. That was a lot of hair to sweep up no doubt. So my time in between the hair-shows and classes I've taken out of school have been my little break away from the daily grind at school. Being one of the only straight men, of two that attend Iowa School of Beauty is a prison sentence no man should have to endure. Now I don't mean that in the extreme way most would take it, But I've noticed things that would have normally not been okay in my other careers. Like what you may ask. Well I'm starting to say things like, "Oh that's a Pretty color." and "Oh that would be so cute." What is the world coming to? I have to correct myself, and I sound like "Oh that's a pretty... I meant Neat color, yeah really neat." I'm a Veteran AND a Class A Master Electrician. "Oh your hair is cute today...." "Whats that Matt?" "I really like your hair today is what I said." I've realized only as of recently that I'm deep in the Estrogen filled trenches, and it is a war. The rules have changed and my gloves are off, although I may have already started to have a monthly cycle. I can only hope for the best at this point, as I leave nothing to question in fears of the drama to ensue. I go to school with a bunch of Alligators that are hungry and smell blood miles away. So I tread lightly as not to get bitten and drug through the gantlet on a daily basis. As bad as they seem, and as often as I shake my head and ask myself if that really just happened, it just would not be the same without any one of them. I have an instructor that was determined to get me to braid. Well guess what, I can sort of braid now making shapes and interesting patterns. I have her and my inner zen master to thank for that. I've also learned the art of razor cutting, and being light handed while razor cutting. I can still remember her face when I first used my razor and cut a huge scoop out of this mannequin hair. Needless to say it all turned out okay. I have several other instructors, that I'm sure are out to get me somehow in a fun way. I had a really special client in school today. Now before I get to far into this I need you all, to go back to when you were in school and doing cheap pedicures. Yeah, we all have the clients that really don't take care of their feet or pay little if any attention to them at all. But this client was one Ill not soon forget. She's and older lady of 82 and coated with fresh squeezed lemons at times. She's my regular shampoo set and I love her to death, but some lines weren't meant to be crossed. She was coming in for a Pedicure. As I set up for this pedi, my mind races of the possibilities of finding some ancient artifact she may have picked up along the way, that would be worth billions and my tip would be awesome. Get me out of debt kind of thing. Because I know no-man has been there, paid any attention, or touched her feet for a long long time. So before I go out to get her I swing by the Dispense area to sniff some hairspray and smelling salts to help deaden and numb my nasal cavity. Light headed I grab and greet her tugging her back to the pedi station to get started. She pulled off her socks, and placed them on the floor next to the pedi bowl in such a manner that it looked like there was still feet inside them. I chuckled inside and said to myself, "This should be fun." She was about to put her feet in the bowl when I had to stop her and do my inspection, searching for fungus, disorders and diseases. I find nothing to gruesome and spray her feet down with septic spray, a little more septic spray, and a little bit up my nose for good measure. We began to talk of her life and how miserable she was, then I had to remind her I was working on her feet so it couldn't be that bad. She smiled as if she knew the horrors I was dealing with at that very moment. She soaked for about 15 minutes to loosen up the reptilian like scales she had on her feet, shortly after that I started to hit them with all I could muster up with a nail brush. I almost had to call a reputable power washing company to come help me out. Chiseling away at what seemed to be a never ending supply of dragon scales and dead skin I started to notice one of the foot shaped socks pointed towards me. As if it was going to come at me at any moment, I tossed a towel over it to cover its eyes. I was convinced it was alive and well. I brushed it off as a side effect of the smelling salts and hairspray. Clipping her nails was like listening to a gun going off every time the clippers snapped. I took out an industrial metal file to hone down the points left by the clippers. As the Nail dust flew and piled up, I started to laugh. I had thought about that movie Dumb and Dumber when they go to the salon and Jim Carrey gets a pedicure. I quickly became envious of the lady grinding down his toe nails. She had a four inch grinder! I could have used that. Working up a small sweat, I began to see clumps of some unidentified material fall from between her toes. Wait a minute, could this be the ancient artifact I was thinking of? Nope, not a chance. Can you remember the last time you had a family picture taken? What did you say right before the picture was snapped? Did you say CHEESE? Man this was a nightmare. I had an instant replay showing in my head super slow-mo just so I could grasp the full gravity of the situation. I got up and got rid of my gum, thinking that maybe I subconsciously, chewed it with my mouth open, and some cheese may have gotten in there some how while I fervently filed her nails. Back in the pedi bowl she goes, another 5 minutes and she's back out getting a second round of the nail brush. This time a direct hit under the nails to get the rest of the cheese out. Or so I thought, much like the dragon scales and dead skin it just seamed to reproduce as I scooped it out with an Orange wood stick. You guys still with me? Well anyway to by pass the blow by blow, there was a lot of cheese as you may have guessed. My instructors were proud of me, so much so that they gave me a nice little nick name to remind me of the torment I went through. Oh yeah, they named me Cheese-Whiz, I seen it coming. Now how fun is that? Lol. Now on to other things that make me smile. I should probably post a few pics of some cuts I have done. I think Ill do that as soon as I remember my camera at school. I hate to cut this short because I have so much more to post, but I promise Ill post more the next few days. Thanks for coming by!
